The world that I grew up in has drastically changed. The availability of information, the access we have to everyone around the world, the speed at which the world is moving all have increased the pressure and anxiety in kids. Reading headlines that kids will have 10 – 14 jobs in their lifetime, and that many of these jobs do not exist today would cause stress in my life, let alone a teen that keeps being asked “What do you want to do when you grow up?” We just told them they can’t know, and then we ask them the same question. Divorce rates are climbing, as are the numbers of students coming from one parent, foster homes, or mixed families. As adults, we communicate relatively well with each other, but forget at times that children are often left out of those conversations and need to develop their communication skills. When adults get frustrated with the lack of communication with children they react impulsively rather than responding deliberately to the needs of the young person.
Adults also need to be empathetic to the younger generation. We often forget what it was like and as previously stated we grew up in a totally different world. We often drag our own baggage around with us, not fully resolving our own issues before we start in on solving our children’s issues. Until we have come to some peace and resolution with our own pain, we can not (or at least should not) attempt to heal anyone else. If we are still a wounded healer we will often punish bad choices rather than giving students the ability, time and power to make positive choices and solve their own problems. Archbishop Desmond Tutu echoed:
“We must look on children in need not as problems but as individuals with potential to share if they are given the opportunity. Even when they are really troublesome, there is some good in them, for; after all, they were created by God. I would hope we could find ways to draw out of our children the good that is in each of them.”

Building Resiliency - an introduction ...

Resiliency is defined as the ability to bounce back from injury, failure, or misfortune. Much of the research in this area states that the traits that are necessary to be resilient are learned from experiences and can be taught through conversations and reflections. In the book “The Resilience Revolution (Brendtro and Larson, 2006) the authors state that in order to be resilient we need to build trust, find the unique talents and abilities of each individual, empower individuals to take responsibility for their actions and decisions, and assist each person to find their sense of purpose in the world.
The basis of all our learning comes from failure and pain. The greater the pain (without killing us) will cause the greatest initiative for learning and growth. Pain is a powerful motivator that drives all our emotions, thoughts and behaviors. But when kids or adults are in pain, how we deal with them and the steps we take to assist them in overcoming their obstacles are different than those that are successful and thriving. Most times when dealing with people that are hurting we act on our own anger, fear, or frustrations rather than being empathetic and really trying to understand the other person. Threats cause conflict and withdrawal. Blame and criticism obscure strengths and exaggerate flaws, and sarcasm and accusations make the hurt even deeper and destroys trust. We need to look beneath the problems in search of the cause and for possible solutions. We need to fill the deficits in their lives with trust, talents, power and purpose.Over the next 5 days I will explore the areas of trust, talents, power and purpose and how they can be effectively used to enhance everyone’s sense of resilience and success.